Two cents...I've got em!!

Got to throw my two cents in. I love it when someone takes a stand for what they believe in or stands up to support a family member, friend, or whatever. Granted some may think it was harsh or too extreme, but when you are fighting for someone you care about emotions run deep. When some thing happens to someone you care about, some people may take the path as to accept it and not do or say anything and others may not. Which way is correct? The only thing you can be positively sure on is that if it is what you believe then all is good. Guess what we all don’t have to agree on everything. There are always two or more points of view with every situation. It may not have been the way I would have handled it, but that doesn’t mean it was wrong. It means we have a different opinion on how to handle the situation.

I can say for myself, that the whole kids sports adventure never ceases to amaze me. I love to go watch kids play any type of sport. I would love it more if most of the parents were muzzled and strapped down and if the coaches would remember it is not MLB, NBA, or NFL. My personal opinion is that you gain more by being someone who builds up a kid’s confidence. You don’t have to yell at them like dogs. Do you really think that a kid wants to strike out, wants to drop the fly ball, wants to miss that easy lay up, or wants to hit their serve in the net? Then I would love to see the parents and coaches play. I mean by the way they are bitching and complaining I bet they are perfect when they play any sport. And damn if they are that perfect then why aren’t they playing for a professional team and making the big bucks.

Yes it is true that I am not a coach or a parent. I am a human and do have my right to my opinion. I just have a few more comments based on sayings that I remember from my parents. The first is that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar, which I believe if you praise kids for their accomplishments and trying to do their best it will build up their confidence and they will do better. The second saying is all about those who can, do and those who can’t teach. It speaks for itself.

Another motto I love is Fuck em and feed em fish heads.

Happy Birthday, Larry!

I never had the pleasure of actually meeting you. I just wanted to take this time on your birthday to thank you for raising such an awesome daughter. Candice is my little sister, and a very true and loyal friend. At a very young age she is a very wise soul. Yeah she has her Jordan moments. LOL! But she is such a kind, caring and thoughtful person. She puts so many others before herself. First and foremost no one can deny how much she has helped Jada Bird and how much she loves her. Then there is your grand daughter Samantha, she is Candice’s life. Jada and Manny come first in your daughter’s heart, mind, and soul. If she had the means she would take care of so many kids in this world that need it. She is constantly there for all of your grand children who love and respect her. That love had to come from somewhere and I think it started with you.

From the many talks that I have had with Candice, she loves you so and loved talking care of you and being your daughter. I have an inkling of what she is going through, because I too lost my Dad to cancer. Only she lost you at a younger age then when I lost my Dad, I can’t even imagine how I would have made it at such a young age. I know her faith has gotten her through some rough times. She also likes to give Kim and I credit for helping her, but in my book she has helped me out ten fold, especially since my Mom passed away in 2007. She has been my saving grace. She is so wise when it comes to feelings, respect and daily living and dealing with emotions. I have to give you credit for instilling such values and morals into her. Truth…she makes me think and even is helping me with my biggest downfall of holding grudges. She is making me see how those grudges are hurting me and I need to let that shit roll right off my back and forget about it, like someone once told her. :o)

Larry from the bottom of my heart thanks so much for inspiring and encouraging Candice to be who she is today. I am so glad that I finally realize who the real Candice for myself and not what others were saying.

God Speed and Happy Birthday!

Just add family and a bad day is not so bad...

Six years ago today I lost my Dad. I always dread this day I would say that they are getting easier but... This year however it wasn't too bad. We (Kim, Candice, Jada Bird, Manny Turtle and I) crashed in on the Teeter reunion. It was great seeing everyone. It has been too long.

We decided to head up to Van on Saturday. I have been curious ever since I put the solar powered angel and flag on Dad and Mom's grave as to whether or not they were actually lighting up. So after we got the hotel room we headed out to the cemetery. Yeah it was dark and if Dad would have been there he would say that we were going snipe hunting. :) Kim and Candice seen them as soon as I turned off the highway, but because it was kind of foggy I was watching the road. Pulled right up beside and there they were lit up even though it had been rainy and cloudy all day. That made me so happy. Some of you may think I am crazy and those of you who really know me know I am, but I shut off the truck and turned off the lights. Here we all were in this country cemetery no lights and foggy as heck, looked like a Stephen King movie, but wasn't scared at all. I attempted to take some pictures but they didn't turn out too good, haven't watched the video but it will be on you tube if it isn't too bad. Dad tried many times when I was young to get me to go snipe hunting in the cemetery at night but I was too chicken. But last night there I was standing and didn't see any snipes :) Started sprinkling and it was pretty cool. Think Dad and Mom were sending me a message and as usual their hard headed daughter wasn't listening so it started pouring then I got it. :) :)

The Teeter reunion was awesome. Thanks Lucy, Rett, Teresa, Dixie, Keri and Angie it was great seeing all of you.

Kim, Candice, Jada Bird and my Manny Turtle thanks for staying close and keeping my mind busy.

Herbie, your spoiled brat baby girl misses you like crazy. I love you Dad.

A must see for all

Happy Birthday Mom!!!

Think about you every day. Mostly all the great times and occasionally the argument or two or three that we had. Man did we argue we even drove Dad out of the room a few times. Really regret the ones about T cause all of what you said is ringing true now. Co-signed for her vehicle and boy did that cost me. Somewhere in Vegas is a Durango I own. LESSON LEARNED! Hindsight is always 20/20. Tried cleaning out your room. Was doing ok until I found some wheat pennies that you always saved for Uncle Jim. Memories flooded and had to stop. You were always thinking of everyone else. It has been 611 days since you headed to be with Dad or 1 year 8 months and 2 days and yeah I count them every now and then. I don't remember it being this hard with Dad but then I had you here to help me with that. Plus you took care of Dad's things. I helped but you sorted through it all. It is the sorting through and finding something that sparks a memory then I can't continue. Everyone says no rush and in time it will happen so that is what I am going with. Some day it will be OK. I know both of you see how this family is growing. Wish these little ones had gotten the chance to know you and Dad. I have sat and watched Turtle talk to your pictures at my house, so I am sure you are here watching over her and me. Bird also looks at that picture of you and her and points. I know she is pointing at you to let me know that you are looking out after her too. Kids see what we adults can't and I truly believe that. I don't get to see Greg as often as I would like, but just like you said in one of our lasts talks. He is in great hands with a very loving and caring Daddy and Mommy. Same with Anna Belle, I know you are watching over her too along with the rest of this Morgan clan. You kept us all safe and sound when you was here and now I know you are still doing that. I have gone to Sweetbriar a few times and Peggy and Michelle miss you dearly. They have a cool bench out in front with a plaque that says in Loving Memory of Betty Morgan. You touched so many people. Peggy always says it is just not the same and there will never be any one to take your place. That is so true. You were one of a kind. I am so grateful that you were my Mom, confidant, caretaker, teacher and most of all my best friend. Happy Birthday, Mom! I love you and miss you tremendously. Thank you so much for being so special to me and to so many others out there. U R DA BEST!

Happy Fathers Day, sorry it is a day late

I know it is the day after but the actual day kills me so I spend those days with my family next door just to keep my mind moving and to keep me from breaking down constantly. We made a trip up to the cemetery since I hadn’t been up there since Mother’s Day weekend. I missed going up there around Memorial Day and that was really wearing on me. It did me good to go spend some time with them. Did some cleaning and fixing up. It was really muddy and water logged like everything else, but by the time we left it was looking good. And yeah there was one time I about busted my ass in the mud and water and I know both of them got a good laugh out of that. :)

Around Mother’s day I put out a list of memories about reasons why I loved Betty Mae, so here is the Herbie version.

OK Herbie I am gonna start with my earliest memories and venture through 36 wonderful years with you…

I loved the way you would take me with you, guess that is why they got me on video throwing a classic Morgan tantrum when I couldn’t go to work with you.
I loved when you would take me up to Joe and Kate’s; give me a shot glass of soda and a Slim Jim. Love Slim Jim’s to this day, reminds me of our special bonding.
I loved the way you would help me feed the horses apples, but really loved it when you would give them the Boone’s Farm.
I loved it when you got the splinter out of my butt. OK it did hurt really bad but felt better after it was out.
I loved how you would take me for a ride on Peanut.
I loved that you taught me how to fish.
I loved how you made me feel like I was the Bass Master, reeling in that minnow with all those fish hot after it, even though all those fish were the same size as the minnow or smaller.
I loved how you let me sleep with you and Mom after the Helter Skeltor incident.
I loved your love of country music. Thanks for turning me on to Johnny and Tammy those were the best 8 tracks that a girl could ever want.
I loved when you would let me help you when you worked on anything. At first I didn’t know which one was a crescent and which one was the pliers, but over the years you taught me all about tools and how to keep them organized and clean so they are ready the next time you need them.
I loved how we would go camping and fishing. We became quite the regulars in Teddy Bear camp area.
I loved when we caught a stringer full of channel cat, we had the perfect spot and were slaying them left and right. Dang it why did we leave them in the lake and go up and take a break, only to return and find a stringer full of channel cat heads. Damn Turtles!
I loved when we would go fishing all the time although fishing at the Kaskaskia was kind of scary for me. Love the lakes and ponds but the rivers scared me.
I loved how you taught me to mow and love mowing to this day. Opps sorry Mom for mowing over some of your flowers.
I loved when you would jump on my bike and ride it backwards, still amazed that you could do that.
I loved that you allowed me to have kids over all the time and they thought you were great and so funny.
I loved when you got me my bb gun and see I didn’t shoot my eye out.
I loved when we would sit out in the backyard with your gun and just wait for a ground hog to come out so we could shoot at it. Well I shot at it, you usually hit it.
I loved how you would brag about me to the guys you worked with. And Jack told you about me boxing with Paul and Kevin and kicking their ass. Yep you didn’t have a prissy little girl you had a tomboy that would scrap with any one.
I loved how you helped me when I broke my arm the second time. You knew when I came in the house it was broke and after the doctor trying to set it a couple of times you told him to stop and send me some place where they could fix it.
I loved when we went and got my first car. That 1966 Pontiac Catalina was awesome. It was my tank. I loved it.
I loved all of our trips that we would take, you Mom and me. West Virginia, Ohio, and the many trips to Taylorville and Vandalia to visit family.
I loved that you passed on your love for the Cubs to me and taught me how to be a true Cubs fan. You know being able to take all the jokes and look em straight in the eye and say: “There is always next year!”
I loved all of our family BBQ’s and how you would always make sure that you burnt a couple for me and you passed that on to Kim and Jerry cause they take care of me too.
I loved how you help me get my house together; tearing up carpet and tiles, painting, stripping trim, cleaning, plumbing, electric. You were a jack-of-all-trades.
I loved how you would come over and help me with any problem that arose dealing with my house. Although you did bail when I needed help with the snake. :)
I loved that you took care of all of us. You worked your ass off in the mines for many years.
I loved your dedication to the union all though I hated that your other union members didn’t have your drive and determination and devotion.
I loved your sense of humor and how you always had everyone laughing around you.
I loved your little ditty’s that you would sing constantly, you know like the dirty dirty drawers that Maggie wore. :)
I loved the way you could remember and retell jokes and the dirtier the better although Mom didn’t always think so. ;)
I loved the way you fought your battle with cancer. You went through some shit but still maintained your sense of humor.
I loved the way you was a true warrior right up until the end.

Pop there are a hundred trillion more memories and I am thankful for each and every one.

I know it is a day late but Happy Fathers Day, Herbie. I love you and miss you so much. You were the best, I learned so much from you. Thanks!

Relay for Life 2009

Last weekend was the Relay for Life here in Randolph County. We found out Dad had cancer in February 01. It was the first immediate hit to our family. Mind you we were aware of the disease because we knew Jeannie and Uncle Jr. had lost their battles and Bob was fighting his, but this was the first time we would be thrown directly into this chaos hell. All I can say is if you have seen it first hand then you understand what I mean by chaos hell. My Dad was always my hero, and seeing him in this battle my love and respect for him grew immensely. From that first mention of cancer, we were all scared as hell. One day we are hearing about nodules on the brain and next we are all packed in an office talking about radiation treatments and Dad was admitted the first day and put in ICU. It was hard as hell seeing him so upset sitting on that bed. But we kept telling him it was going to be OK and we were all in this together. So he started his regimen of radiation and chemo and OMG. I had always heard about the treatment nightmares. From the radiation weaken Dad to the chemo making him sicker than a dog and losing his hair, we did go through the treatment chaos. Then when Dad got thrush there was the battle between the chemo and radiation doctors pointing the fingers at each other saying the other treatment caused it. What was harder than hell was getting them to realize we didn’t care what caused it just fucking help my Dad with the pain and discomfort. Actually the treatments did help and Dad did get a break. So the spring of 02 I was never more proud of my Dad as seeing him walk around the relay for life track as a survivor. Yeah he did bring up the rear but that is cause Kim was walking with him and who knows what kind of bullshit was transpiring between those two. When the relay came along in 03 Dad was again going through treatments and couldn’t make it, so I made sure to make some laps for him. Then in September he lost his battle with this terrible disease. Ever since 01 I have made it a point to walk in the relays. Most of all I make sure that Dad is represented with a luminaria bag on that track. I went from getting a handful of bags and now I am up to around 20. Needless to say cancer fucking sucks. Sorry for the language but that is the way I feel.

Now I want to give a big thank you to my designer for some awesome luminaries this year. You did a great job, sorry you had to stay up so late to get them done. If you have some time please check out the slide show of bags and then the video from when they were lit for the ceremony.

In Loving Memory of...
Marie C. Lockart
Logan Lockart Jr.
Lenna S. Morgan
Charles H. Morgan
Bob Stine
Jeannie Jackson
Rick Jackson
Betty Lockart
Glenn Brookshire
Denzil Morgan
Chuck Crowder
Larry Williams
Renee Morgan
Carl Glasco
Larry Crowder
Gary Carns

In Honor of...
Edna Branham
Charles W. Morgan
Elaine Lederbrand