Roller Coaster Ride

Where do I begin? After having a kick ass time at the bon fire the following week was pure hell for me. Why, who knows? Wish I knew who was in charge of this roller coaster ride. I found myself upset and didn’t know why. My mind kept going back to how great the bon fire would have been if Mom and Dad were there sitting on a bale with all of us. Then I received an email that Aunt Edna was in the hospital. At first the news didn’t sound good, but I am happy to say at this time she is back home and on the mend.

Also that week I headed over to watch Emily play volleyball. That brought back all the memories of Mom and I going and watching Emma Lie play sports. Mom so enjoyed watching her youngest granddaughter. Then there was the email I got that week. I read it at work and was hoping no one would see me so upset at work. The email was beautiful, but caused a ton of emotions to come pouring out. Austin’s Mom had found an electric skillet at an auction. It was one like Mom used to cook with. Lessi said she didn’t need it but just bought it cause it reminded her of Mom. She started talking about the roast, potatoes, carrots and cooked cabbage that Mom use to make and how great it was. Like I said the dam broke and the emotions came. Luckily no one saw me. I did manage to regain my composure but when I got home it happened again. The next weekend did nothing, stayed home and had to break out the Will and Grace DVD’s. Nothing like Will, Grace, Jack and Karen to stop my emotional roller coaster, and it only took two seasons. So I have six more just in case.

This past week had its ups and downs too. Aunt Edna went back in the hospital, but like I said she is home now and doing better. I went again to watch Emily and this would be her last high school volleyball game. Yes that is correct my youngest niece is a senior. Her team played great but they ended up losing. I hated seeing Em so upset. Don’t know if it was the game or her realizing that she just played her last high school game. I am so proud of that girl. She is a sweetheart. She scored a 30 on her ACT. She is awesome at volleyball. Plus she is such a beautiful, caring and loving kid. (She reminds me so much of Betty Mae) Was looking at her senior pictures and OMG how can you pick just one. Have I told you how proud I am of her?

So Friday arrives and I am at work been there since about six that morning. It is about 9:30 and my phone rings. It is Austin. I ask him what he is doing cause he should be working. Then he proceeds to tell me that he is leaving work cause he just had a guy get killed like 10 feet away from him. I can tell he is upset. I don’t have any idea what to say. I let him talk and just listen. He tries to describe to me what happened and I don’t understand exactly. Somehow this man who was working with Austin, fell and ended up getting crushed and Austin had seen it all. He is telling me he wants to come over later and talk. I told him that I would be there for him no matter what. He never did come over but when I texted him, I found out he was with his girlfriend at church. I was relieved and glad he was there. He said he was doing better. The next day after reading the papers about what had happened I was even more worried. What a horrific thing to experience. I couldn’t even imagine and felt so useless. How could I help my nephew? I didn’t want to force the issue, wanted to give him his time to come to terms, but didn’t want him to keep it all in. I wanted to make sure he knew that I was here if he needed anything, so I sent him a text that morning saying I am here if you need anything. I worried all day about this kid, and then finally I called just to hear his voice and make sure. He sounded good. He had hear from the president of the boilermakers and other co workers that was there also. Monday morning is going to be harder than hell for him to go back there, but it is something that he has to do. So Herbie and Betty Mae watch over Austin Zane for me.

When it comes to Zane and Emma Lie they both hold such a special place in my heart. I watched these two grow into amazing adults. I am so proud of both of them and want to protect them as much as I can. When I see or talk to either one of them, I realize how special these kids are. They have been through so much, and still have great personalities and values. Austin Zane and Emily Marie, Auntie Red loves you both so much and is so proud of both of you.